Late at night, when the light has gone and the streets are cold as ice The sins of the past return to haunt you Evil lurks at every turn and it's playing with your mind Creatures of the paranormal kind Don't fear He is here Standing tall atop his dragon made of steel Don't cry You probably won't die All you have to do is call his name Magnum! Dick Magnum! Paranormal investigator Magnum! Dick Magnum! Fighting for justice and money and bitches Something's coming from behind you now From within the unhallowed walls We need a hero to stand and fight With a giant pair of balls We need Dick Armed to the teeth with gatling guns, RPGs, and poison knives A sword grasped firmly in his teeth Walking the boundaries of right and wrong He lives outside the law When evil gets the Dick, it takes it raw Don't fear A guardian is here Magnum cocked and loaded, ready to fire Don't cry You may or may not die All you have to do is call his name Magnum! Dick Magnum! Paranormal investiagator Magnum! Dick Magnum! Money and bitches, the American Way Something's coming from beneath you now From within the unhallowed ground We need a hero to save us all Not a pussy or an asshole We need a Dick (Chanting: Dick! x a lot) Don't fear A savior is here With his magnum, he will blow you away Don't cry There's a pretty good chance you'll die But all you have to do is call his name Magnum! Dick Magnum! Paranormal investigator Magnum! Dick Magnum! All about the money and bitches Something's coming inside you now From within the loaded gun We need a hero to save the world Or maybe just have some fun Get that Dick!

What do we do with a drunken sailor? What do we do with a drunken sailor? What do we do with a drunken sailor early in the morning? Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises early in the morning Shave his nuts with a rusty dagger Shave his nuts with a rusty dagger Shave his nuts with a rusty dagger early in the morning Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises early in the morning Stick his dick in a toaster oven Stick his dick in a toaster oven Stick his dick in a toaster oven early in the morning Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises early in the morning What do we do with a drunken sailor? What do we do with a drunken sailor? What do we do with a drunken sailor early in the morning? Pee in his butt til he doesn't shit right Pee in his butt til he doesn't shit right Pee in his butt til he doesn't shit right early in the morning Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises early in the morning Tuck him into bed and read him a story Tuck him into bed and read him a story Tuck him into bed and read him a story early in the morning Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises Way-hey and up she rises early in the morning Cum on his face and let it harden Cum on his face and let it harden Cum on his face and let it harden early in the morning That's what we do with a drunken sailor That's what we do with a drunken sailor That's what we do with a drunken sailor early in the morning That's what we do with a drunken sailor That's what we do with a drunken sailor That's what we do with a drunken sailor early in the morning